You & The Society: Whose Standards/Values Are You Living Up to?

It’s not vanity to feel you have a right to be beautiful. Women are taught to feel we’re not good enough, that we must live up to someone else’s standards. But, my aim is to cherish myself as I am.                                      -Elle Macpherson

Jumoke, a 17 year old student of a prestigious university in Nigeria, struggles to fit into the new community she finds herself. From the outside, she is that ‘hottie’ that draws a lot of attention to her by the guys. But on the inside, she is a troubled soul who has been taught that she always has to take the appearance of the latest music celebrity if she is to ‘fit in’.

Emeka, already into his third year, is better known as the ‘scholar’ in his department. Sought after by the ladies and guys trying to meet the pass mark, he has been forced to watch every action or decision he makes now that he is under the microscope of the school board.

Ever since Rahim became the love of Funmi’s life, he has been transformed from the unknown customer service officer of a 3^rd generation bank, to the fiancé of an award winning pop star trailed endlessly by the local media across the state. With his new status, he is constantly criticized by Funmi’s wealthy parents who do not think he’s good enough for their only daughter, and a society that will hang him to dry at the slightest of mistakes.

The most confusing question is, why are people so concerned about living up to the standards/values of others?. There are so many pressures on us to conform; to change ourselves in order to satisfy the social thirst of the immediate community, or to win over the hearts of persons of interest. But, when you think you are making your own priorities straight, chances are you are being influenced by a lot of external pressures.

Do you often find yourself looking in the mirror trying to ensure that a dressing error doesn’t cost you social suicide?. Ever had to appear like Nicki Minaj or your guys won’t flock around you like birds?. Have you ever been humiliated in the public for being unable to speak Queen English, or had to think a million times before you utter your next sentence?.

The problems with trying to live up to the standards of the society are many. Problems such as peer pressure, getting ridiculous attention from carrying out the demands of the society, family pressure, etc are the major problems faced by every individual trying to live life as it comes. 

What these problems have in common is that no matter how hard you try, it will eventually dawn on you that it can never be enough. You can’t possibly please everybody and you should not keep trying to. When your colleagues prioritize getting ahead at all costs regardless of the traumatizing consequences, what happens to your values of honesty, kindness, and mutual respect?.

In conclusion, you have to sit down and ask yourself if the time has come for you to cut the apron strings. Ask yourself if you are prepared to focus on your goals and stop others from influencing every decision you have to make; because when you adopt the values which aren’t really the ones you had prioritized, it changes you and affects those close to your heart negatively.

Are you living up to your own standards or the standards of the society?.